BDS: Chapter Forty-Three

Jalena's breath came hard as she sprinted as fast as her legs would stretch down the western edge of the Green Sea shoreline. This part of the beach often attracted less people, which is one reason she liked being there. She invited the cold mist and light rain that had drifted in from the sea that evening. Strands of her dark hair clung to her face and neck as she increased her pace. Despite her appreciation for Gyan's gifted speed, she wished momentarily that it was more difficult for her to run—that her stamina would reflect that of someone unconditioned—gasping for breath.

She welcomed the challenges that accompanied physical conditioning. That type of training was more manageable for her than the challenge of regulating emotion. She leaped over the boulders and driftwood littered along the shoreline and increased her speed in hopes of making the pain of training surpass the pain in her heart.

She looked down the shore as a glint in the sand caught her eye. She jogged over and bent to examine the gleaming object. She pulled the object from the sand—a wine bottle—the same one she had shared with Gyan on their first night together at the beach. Her breath caught as she rubbed the sand clinging to the bottle with her thumb.

Angry tears threatened to spill as she took several steps and threw the bottle as far as she could into the sea. She quickly wiped the edge of her eyes, ignoring the burn of sand that smeared across her reddened face, then bolted down the shoreline again.

She suddenly slowed as she saw a figure walking toward her in the distance. As Jalena recognized Sahdika's petite form moving closer, she fought the urge to run the other way. She swallowed as her breathing slowed and paced uncomfortably in the sand until Sahdika stood directly before her. Jalena's throat tightened as she kept her gaze lowered.

Sahdika held out her arms without a word.

Jalena dropped to her knees before Gyan's mother and clung tightly to her waist. All the tears she had buried from the time she felt Gyan's energy leave came bursting out. "I'm so sorry—I didn't know—" she gasped between sobs. "I would have stopped him—please—" she whispered, inhaling sharply. "Please…forgive me—"

Sahdika stroked Jalena's wet hair for several moments in silence. She smiled down at Jalena through her own tears, then cupped Jalena's chin and lifted her eyes to her own. "There is nothing to forgive," she said simply. "Gyan died doing what he was meant to do. He wouldn't have had it any other way. Even on the days when I cannot bear to think of life without him, I know this is true."

Jalena's face twisted. She buried her forehead against Sahdika's stomach again and sobbed harder.

"I can see him, you know—looking out from your eyes."

Jalena sniffed. "I have failed him. I should have protected him as he was destined to do for me. I know that I do not deserve the gifts he left me."

Sahdika gently took Jalena's hands from around her and held them before her. "What was his was yours from the beginning, Jalena," she said as Jalena stood. "Your father told Eamonn of Kesól's theory about you and Gyan being twin souls, and I think you know it's true just as I do." She sat on a nearby log, pulling Jalena down beside her. "The choices that Gyan made would have been your own in the same situation, am I right."

Jalena's brow furrowed. "I don't know. He saw something right before he opened his Reserve fully. He looked as if he had never been more certain about what he was doing. I felt the strength of his knowing but could not see the path that he saw. I just don't understand how choosing your death could lead to anything better than staying with your team despite what his Reserve revealed to him."

"And we may never know. But, what I do know is that having you means that I still have Gyan, especially given the evidence that his energy resides within you now. That also means there is an expansion to our family."

"He asked me to marry him," she whispered. She quickly wiped the fresh tears leaking from the corner of her eyes.

"Of course he did," Sahdika said with a chuckle. "He's been following you around since you were seven, watching for your return from training with Malik, and sneaking into trees to watch you and Shamira train. He has loved you with a sense of controlled eagerness—if there is such a thing—for a very long time. I always feigned innocence when it came to knowing of his affection for you, but it was obvious from a young age how he felt. So…" she smiled, "…what did you say?"

"No…at first anyway," Jalena smiled despite herself, "then he said he would never stop asking. When he asked again, I said yes. Although now..." Jalena dropped her gaze to the sand below.

"Is a marriage even needed between twin souls?" Sahdika replied soothingly as she put a hand on Jalena's back. "According to me, you were meant to be no matter if the union is internal or external. You have not failed, Jalena, because none of this is over. Use the strength you now carry within you and continue for him until you can for yourself. You must do this for you, the rest of the team…and for me. I can cope with his physical absence better knowing he assists you in fighting for what you believe in rather than allowing his spirit to remain buried within you."

Jalena stood and grabbed Sahdika u[ into a tight hug.

"Sometimes, you just need a nán's touch," Sahdika voiced as she squeezed her back. "You must come see everyone when you return. You belong with us…Promise me."

Jalena nodded through her tears.

"Good. Don't stay too long out here in those wet clothes. Warrior or not, I don't want to see a daughter of mine become ill."

Jalena nodded. She smiled as she watched Sahdika walk away. A warm feeling spread within her.

She dropped again near the log and watched the waves until her eyelids drooped to a close.

"Jalena."

Jalena opened her eyes to her father's voice hours later. Syam was kneeling over her, his hand on her shoulder.

She sat up slowly and looked around. The mist had cleared, and the stars now shone brightly above her. She shivered as the breeze hit her damp skin.

"Come with me," Syam said. "There is something you need to see."

Jalena stood and stretched, then followed Syam to the trails leading to the top of the Blanderé cliffs. "Where are we going exactly, dán?"

Syam paused before a thick set of leaves and vines hanging off at the edge of a small cave. "In there."

Jalena cast him a look of confusion.

He smiled and gestured with his head for her to continue. "Go on."

Jalena moved the leaves and vines back to see Eclipse in her expanded form lying next to another large cat with short, sleek gray hair.

"Eclipse!"

Eclipse stood and stretched. She trotted over to Jalena and lifted herself to put her front paws on Jalena's shoulders. Jalena laughed and stumbled back as Eclipse rubbed her head against Jalena's.

"Were you trying to break my heart or something—running off like that?" Jalena said as she closed her eyes and hugged her cat. "You will have to be extra sweet if you wish me to forgive your delinquency."

Eclipse responded by purring and repeatedly licking Jalena's face.

"So it is," Jalena said with a chuckle. "Or maybe you're doing this because I need a shower."

"That too," said Syam. He raised an eyebrow as he gazed at Jalena's matted hair and sand-covered clothes.

Jalena smiled and looked beyond Eclipse at the gray cat who yawned lazily. "Is it another Sheba?"

"I'm not sure yet," replied Syam. "We haven't seen him transform, so we will have to just watch him and see."

"Him?"

"Yes."

Jalena smiled. "I'll have to ask Valora to see if she knows."

Eclipse returned and plopped down next to the gray cat. "So, that's what you've been doing, Eclipse—hunting males." She shook her head. "It figures…. Now that she has a companion, I won't feel so bad about leaving her behind when I journey to Galinia." She turned back to Syam. "Who found her?"

"Master Tarak."

"He's awake?"

"Yes, but not without complication. He doesn't remember who he is."

Jalena's eyes widened. "Entirely or he doesn't remember his life as a warrior?"

"He doesn't even remember the Feyla village. He remembers what he likes and dislikes, such as the forest. That is why he has been spending most of his time roaming the Ceiabré Forest since he woke yesterday afternoon. That's when he found Eclipse playing with her partner near here. He doesn't remember his power or being a warrior either. He is just going through the motions as of now, even though the others are attempting to trigger his memory with stories."

"This must be difficult for Master Danika." She sighed. "He can still use his abilities though?"

"Not to the same extent."

"Because a part of him doubts what they are saying to him about being a warrior," Jalena stated, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, and in order to get his abilities back—"

"—he must believe in who he is."

***