TCO: Chapter Thirty-Five

The next several weeks of the rainy winter passed without news of any affairs outside the temple grounds. Gyan often pondered what happened to the Vaznaun that had returned to Mordán empty-handed on the night of Tarak's rescue. He half-expected Mordán to arrive any moment, burst through the temple doors, and demand the return of Tarak. The masters had no updates to report, so Gyan tried to put aside thoughts of possible ways Mordán might retaliate from his mind. The silence that followed the rescue unnerved him, however, causing his sleep to feel broken and incomplete.

He wasn't the only one to experience restless nights in the passing weeks. Aderes had become increasingly irritable during the day. The effects of his unstable mood seem to drift into the night, causing him to toss and turn in his sleep much more than normal. He often woke drenched in sweat during the night with a start.

"What is it?" Gyan asked sleepily during one such night. "Lesiana?"

"No," Aderes said as he threw back the covers on his bed and sat up. He rubbed his face with both hands. "It's okay. Go back to sleep."

Gyan laid back down in silence, but sleep evaded him as he peered through the dark at Aderes in concern.

Aderes got up and crossed the room to the window with his back to Gyan. Drops of rain began to splash against the window of their room, creating trickling pathways of water down the pane. Gyan watched Aderes until the storm lulled him to sleep once more.

Aderes's state of mind and resulting fatigue soon began to interfere with his training. Valora abruptly stopped sparring with him one morning during a session on the chinálei.

"What's the matter with you?" she asked, pacing back and forth in front of him, having easily outmaneuvered him with several strikes and kicks just seconds before.

"What do you mean?" answered Aderes, breathing hard.

"You're tired. I can feel it."

"Don't worry about it," Aderes replied irritably as he went to strike her again.

That very night, when Aderes woke from another nightmare, Gyan was prepared. "You have to talk about this, Aderes," Gyan said as he sat up in his bed. "Whatever it is, this issue is getting worse. You need to talk to Elder Master Syam."

"No."

"Then talk to me at least!" Gyan said in frustration. "Whatever issues you've got going on are now interfering with everything else. The others are talking—asking questions."

"I don't care what they think."

"They are concerned, Aderes! Do you not think one of us can feel when there is something off? It is like something feels wrong inside of us too. You don't have to say a word or have someone read your thoughts for everyone to know that."

Aderes sighed. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Are you meditat—?"

"It isn't just that…I'm tired of the conflict I feel inside. I'm tired of training—I feel restless—I just…need to get out of here for a while."

Gyan understood. He had been having difficulty managing an overwhelming urge for adventure as well.

"I think of killing Tarak," Aderes blurted.

Gyan turned sharply. He watched Aderes intently for a moment before replying. "All intrusive thoughts are dark from time to time, Aderes. I think you are being too hard on your—"

"His face is the one I see now—the one in the nightmares reflecting my parents' death."

"You have recreated the memory?" Gyan asked in alarm.

Aderes shrugged. "Is that what you think?"

"I'm not sure, but you must be careful, Aderes. You must try to undo the effects of the new memory or it will feel as if you are living with the one that murdered them. You could automatically start to project your feelings of revenge onto Tarak even more." He threw back his covers and stood to stretch.

"I don't know how to undo it."

"You'll have to alter the events of the memory. Maybe imagine Tarak leading your parents away from your home or in a different position than the one you have associated him with. You have all the tools necessary to undo what haunts you mentally. We are lucky enough to have been taught that in our apriedus training, at least."

"I'm not sure it will be that simple," Aderes replied quietly. "Part of me is—I don't know—satisfied that I see him in the memory."

"Because it still gives you a chance for revenge! You are attempting to control the uncontrollable rather than releasing the pain. That's the very reason why it's dangerous to allow it to continue. Seeing Tarak as the one in your dream allows you the emotional satisfaction of feeling that your parents' deaths can still be avenged. You have allowed your thoughts of this to dominate for too long and are deceiving yourself to satisfy a vendetta."

Aderes sighed but remained silent as Gyan went to stand by the window. It was another hour before Gyan heard Aderes's deep breathing return. Gyan crawled back into bed, uneasily pondering what could result if Aderes failed to regain control.

Over the course of the next week, Gyan tried to question Aderes about any progress in altering the memory when they were alone, but it was no use. After sharing his previous thoughts, Aderes now seemed determined to avoid him as he took to spending many hours alone, only entering the room well into the night after Gyan had gone to bed.

Gyan couldn't shake an unsettling feeling the day Aderes was partnered with Tarak during training. Now that the warriors had perfected the Damsé with their partners, they were supposed to practice the same type of connection used in the Damsé while sparring. This meant that they were to tune into their opponent's energy to practice how to counter their partner's movement rather than mimic it.

Gyan watched Aderes intently as Aderes and Tarak began to spar.

"Are we gonna start?" Hoshi asked Gyan. "Or do you wanna just stand still while I smack you around?" She grinned slyly. "I don't mind."

"Oh, right." Gyan said as he turned his attention back to his partner. "I'm sure you would love that," he said as he lunged toward her. "It may very well be the only way you could win."

"Only if I am very, very tired," she said just before aiming a kick at his head.

Moments later, their sparring was interrupted by a shout that echoed across the chinálei.

"What are you doing?" Danika said loudly, stumbling away from Tarak and Aderes. She grabbed her forearm to stop the blood that seeped between her fingers.

Gyan and Hoshi stopped sparring. Gyan instinctively moved to stop Tarak and Aderes, who were in the middle of a fight that had nothing to do with practicing the Damsé.

"Leave them," Jabari commanded, stopping Gyan in his tracks. Jabari stood squarely before the two warriors, his face grave as he watched Tarak and Aderes.

"Master Jabari, you don't under—" started Gyan.

"I understand very well, San Gyan. Let them be."

The other warriors watched as Tarak and Aderes fought. Tarak's eyes were focused only on Aderes. He easily blocked Aderes's every attempt to strike him. His improved skill only served to increase Aderes's frustration.

Gyan caught sight of the small dagger in Aderes's hand that had accidentally cut Danika's arm moments before when she and Brogan had moved too close to Aderes.

Tarak continued to outmaneuver Aderes, Aderes's fatigued and unstable mind had clearly caught up to him. As Aderes brought the dagger to Tarak's shoulder a second time, Tarak blocked him. He grabbed Aderes's wrist and swung him around, trapping Aderes's arm behind his own back. He yanked Aderes back and locked his other arm around Aderes's neck, pinning Aderes tightly to him.

Aderes immediately dropped his stance, his knees wide. His eyes lit up. With the new surge of energy, Aderes threw his head back against Tarak's face and elbowed Tarak in the ribs. The force of impact caused Tarak to loosen his grip and stumble back. He released Aderes as he brought a hand to his bloody nose. Aderes advanced again. Tarak, however, stood ready, his eyes now reflecting the same light as Aderes's.

Flashes of light emerged between the two as the blows intensified.

Tarak lunged forward. Aderes responded by sweeping Tarak's front foot out from under him. Tarak lost his balance and dropped to one knee. The dagger flashed as Aderes brought it down over Tarak. Anticipating the move, Tarak blocked him again and grabbed Aderes's arm with his other hand. The block forced Aderes to release the dagger, which Tarak sent flying off in the opposite direction by use of his charisma. Before Aderes could break Tarak's grasp, Tarak stood and pulled Aderes roughly to him. He grabbed Aderes by the throat with his free hand.

Hoshi gasped at the look of outrage on Tarak's face.

Tarak's eyes lit up even more as he lifted Aderes in the air by his neck.

Aderes struggled violently as he swung in the air. He grabbed Tarak's arm with both hands, his face turning red. Light erupted from Aderes's eyes as he extended a hand toward Tarak's face.

Gyan moved forward—

"Tarak!" screamed Danika.

Danika's voice broke Tarak's focus. He instantly released his grip on Aderes, who fell to the ground, gasping for breath. Breathing heavily, Tarak held Danika's gaze and then glanced at the others before he turned and walked off the chinálei.

As Tarak walked away, Aderes jumped to his feet. Using Tarak's shift in focus to his advantage, Aderes moved quickly to the side, jumped, and cracked Tarak in the jaw with his fist, Tarak stumbled sideways but quickly moved toward Aderes again, with a look of fury.

"Enough!" Jabari said.

Separated and breathing hard, Aderes and Tarak paced in front of each other. The surrounding warriors remained silent as they observed the two.

Tarak finally spoke. "Attempting to attack me will not end your torment, Aderes. I owe you nothing!" His deep accented voice bellowed across the temple grounds. "I am not the one who killed your family!"

A look of surprise crossed Aderes's face.

"Yes," Tarak continued, speaking steadily. "I overheard your tirade to Elder Master Syam in the temple sanctuary. You are a fool—weak—easily allowing your emotions to spoil your thought! Seek your revenge elsewhere." He turned to leave the group again.

With a shout of frustration, Aderes moved to attack again, but this time Gyan was ready. He took two strides and stepped directly beside Tarak as Aderes spun and swung a back fist at the side of Tarak's head. Gyan grabbed Aderes's wrist in mid-strike just before his hand could reach its mark.

"No, Aderes," Gyan spoke fiercely. "This stops now."

Aderes's eyes met Gyan's. A flash of surprised hurt lingered only for a moment. His gaze turned hard as he yanked his arm from Gyan's grasp, looking thunderous. He stared past Gyan at Tarak, spit on the ground, and stalked off the chinálei without another word.