ROTU: Chapter Eight

Two more years passed, and Jalena contributed her steady belief in the mission solely to inner resilience and Malik's teachings. All events remained stagnant. As each day came and went, it took all her will to keep from abandoning the mission and finding the ship to return home. Check-ins from Sade became less frequent and no more reports from Nyhra had been sent to the Xita-8.

Jalena noticed small changes in Shamira but clung to the hope that they would find answers before any serious issue occurred. It started with Shamira's constant talk of home and past missions. Her chatter eventually silenced as despair set in. Jalena tried different ways to encourage her, but nothing seemed to work.

Shamira's depression began to interfere with her memory. She forgot to take her suppression amulet when they journeyed to new destinations and eventually forgot complex fighting sequences. Over time, she became confused when Jalena would bring up the kingdoms in Elsaria or talk of old missions, like the first time the two found Tarak living with the Divakae villagers.

"Where was that again?" Shamira had asked.

"Feyla Forest," Jalena reminded her. "He was with the Divakae, remember?"

Shamira's meltdown came the night before the two were set to depart for Japan.

"You ready to train?" Jalena asked as she rounded the corner to Shamira's room. "Lyons added more simulations for us."

Shamira was sitting on her bed, her training boots still on the floor beside her. "I feel like we have been deceived." She met Jalena's stare, the dark circles beneath her eyes more apparent than that morning.

"What do you mean?"

"What if Lunara led us away from our planet—from our family—so that we couldn't stop something from happening on Elsaria, and Earth really is part of a trap? Maybe somehow she led us into another Realm of Illuse where we are now stuck in a never-ending cycle."

"You know in your heart that isn't true. Your judgment is being clouded by your longing for home."

Shamira dropped her gaze as her tears fell. "I want to leave here. I am forgetting, Jalena—forgetting Anon."

Jalena approached her slowly. "We will get through this, Shamira. Do not give up. I really do feel as if it is a timing thing. Only a little over five months have passed on Elsaria. The energy of the Conduits is just buried further than we anticipated. We—"

"It's not the same for me as it is for you! You are using this mission to run from pain—as a quest for vengeance. I have something waiting for me that is better than this…" Shamira looked away.

"Meaning you have Anon, something to live for and return to on Elsaria and I lost Gyan, so it is not the same," Jalena finished.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Your heart betrays your words, Shamira," Jalena said heatedly. "Perhaps you've become more human than even you are aware of—you wear the mask well enough."

Jalena sighed as Shamira grabbed her boots and ran from the room.

Deciding it was better to smooth things out in the morning, Jalena went to the simulation room. "Kana, please change the scene to harsh desert conditions—enemy of your choice."

"As you wish, Master."

After training, Jalena had no appetite so she skipped dinner and went directly to bed. Sleep evaded her, however, until she heard Shamira enter the facility late into the night.

"I made breakfast for us, Shamira, so we could eat before we leave," Jalena called out the next morning from the hallway as she studied the tablet in her hand. "By the way, after we return from Japan, we should spend time in the northern states this summer. There are places in Oregon I want to explore.

"And sorry about yesterday," she added as she approached Shamira's room. "I was too harsh with you, and I know you are losing hope. I decided we should try to contact Malik. I think it may be the only way to convince you that this isn't a trap." She stopped in Shamira's doorway as she observed her friend's unmade bed. "Shamira?"

Jalena searched the adjoining bathroom. A sense of dread filled her as the realization came. She did not have to search Shamira's closet to know that she was gone.

Anger rose within Jalena as she noticed a note lying on the nearby dresser. A note? She glanced out the window at the mountains and dropped the tablet on Shamira's bed. Bolting from the room, she left the note unread where it was. Only seconds passed before her feet hit one of the trails around the facility.

Lyons's voice cracked through the watch on her wrist minutes later. "Kana reports that your light energy is surfacing to a critical point, Jalena. The shields at the facility will only cover you for a ten-mile radius, remember?"

"That's all I need," she replied. She ran until her breath came in short gasps and she dropped to the ground beside a tree. The vacuumed silence of the mountains stilled her heart as her breathing steadied. She pushed all thought aside and concentrated on her breath, trying to suppress the harsh judgments and anger that threatened to resurface.

Her heart calmed as she glanced to her left and saw her white wolf friend watching her from a distance. Although he did not come closer, his soothing energy reached her, adding a sense of serenity to the silence around her. Thoughts of Eclipse surfaced in her mind as she stared at the wolf. Wanting nothing more than to throw her arms around her cat at that moment, Jalena buried her face in her arms and burst into tears.

Minutes later, she felt a wet warm tongue against her arm. Her tears ceased as she jerked her head up, and the light gray eyes of a small white pup met her own. The pup's gray-tipped ears twitched. Its tail wagged so hard that it shook its whole body. Jalena looked up and saw the white wolf still watching her. Another white and gray wolf—the pup's mother—had joined the first. The mother lowered her head and brought up her nose in a friendly gesture.

Jalena laughed as the pup stretched its paws on her knees and licked the tears from her face. Even without Valora there to translate, she knew that the wolf's presence was meant as reassurance.

Haku. The name came to her instantly.

"Haku," she said as she scratched the little wolf behind the ears. The pup licked her hand and responded with a yip. The mother wolf turned and trotted away as Jalena stood. The male wolf watched a little longer before turning back into the trees.

"Thank you, little Haku. Come along then." She sighed, suddenly weary. "Just like every obstacle we have come up against, we will figure this out."

The wolf pup eagerly ran after Jalena down the trail.

Jalena paced the empty halls of headquarters for what seemed like the millionth time that week. Haku, who had been following her with excitement in the beginning, became bored and finally dropped down at the end of one hall to rest her head between her paws.

Jalena looked at Shamira's crumpled note in her hand and smoothed it out to read it again.

There is something that you are refusing to acknowledge. This mission is doomed. And yet, you still believe in your purpose…and in me. However, your belief in me is representative of the warrior I used to be, but not who I feel I am any longer. Even faith can only take you so far without evidence to back it. I know you cannot carry me through this and still have the strength to fight Drasúl—if he is even really here. So, for now, I must find my own way. The truth is, I hate this place. This planet reminds me of the opposite of what we are. Its shadow haunts me daily. I want to clear my head of everything and see if I can return to who I am in my own way. I do not want to feel lost anymore. If I cannot find my center and join you again, then I will attempt to find the ship and reach out to Sade so I can return home. I cannot stand beside you as the warrior you believe I am. You do not deserve to have someone beside you who falters so easily in their purpose. That is why you and Gyan were the perfect pair. He would not abandon you for something so selfish.

I love you forever,

Shamira

Although Jalena was hurt by the fact that Shamira disregarded their friendship in light of her pain, she understood it. Part of her felt it was unfair to request such a big sacrifice from Shamira to begin with especially given that the mission was much harder than they realized. She agreed with her friend about the need for re-centering and connecting with their own people. After all, they had experienced no real break from searching for the Conduits. Since their arrival, the pressure of the lower vibrations seemed to be compiling upon them, as if the atmosphere were deliberately trying to crush their resolve. Jalena felt it was only because of Gyan's resilience—his shield of light within her—that she had not left already.

Another thing that kept her moving forward no matter the length of time, was the suspicion that the Conduits had it worse than she did. Their truth was buried beneath layers of dormant vibration, slowing down any attempts for them to hear what their heart was telling them. Even if her presence was meant to beckon their uprising, the Conduits would never find their way to her if they did not adhere to the calling of their heart. Her intention to find the Earth warriors was a powerful catalyst to great changes upon the planet, but Jalena also knew that those she was seeking had to be internally ready or they would unconsciously block the message.