ROTU: Chapter Seventeen

Upon her return to the States, Jalena threw herself into finishing her new gallery pieces to help ease the emptiness that Shakou's absence had left. There weren't many she connected with, despite having met countless people over the years, so she deeply cherished her relationship with Shakou. He was a consistent reminder of unwavering strength and a large part of the reason she was inspired to keep moving forward in life despite the gaping hole in her past.

Although activity at the gallery was generally slower in the winter months, as it drew closer to Christmas, the streets were busy with energetic people happily shopping for the holidays. Their merry spirits carried into Jalena's shop when she opened early one weekend in mid-December to display her newest fantasy pieces.

People moved around the gallery chatting excitedly about the new display—forest trees that glowed beneath moonlight; waterfalls of brilliant blue with three stars and two moons aligned above them; iced mountains that were home to enormous shimmering black and gold-winged birds…

"Where do you get your ideas from?" a woman asked Jalena as she maneuvered through the crowd.

Jalena shrugged. "I just paint what comes to mind."

"Well, it's brilliant." The woman pointed to a detailed painting of a wizard with silver-blue chrome eyes. "I'll take this one."

"One of my favorites," Jalena said. "I'll have Nadia help you with details." She motioned for Nadia to come over.

Noticing a tall, broad-shouldered man with tousled brown hair out of the corner of her eye, Jalena excused herself and followed him down the back hall as he passed a sign that read, Staff Only. Rather than going the opposite direction to the restroom, the man entered the large storage room where she kept many of her private paintings—many of which were not finished.

Jalena observed the man quietly as he studied the series of four paintings that were propped against the wall at the back of the room. She approached him from behind as her curiosity about him peaked.

"I couldn't decide whether or not to sell any of these," she said softly as she gestured to the ones he was looking at. "I'm rather attached."

He gave her a side glance. "Uh, sorry, I was looking for the bathroom and these caught my eye. He pointed to the set of four. "Is this a dance series?"

"Something like that. I call it the Soul's Dance. To me, it represents a union of souls."

"Why are they not for sale again?" The man turned to look at her fully for the first time. His eyes widened.

Jalena, captivated by the green intensity of his stare, did not answer for a moment. Her stomach flipped as she scanned his unshaven, rugged appearance.

"Uh," the man cleared his throat, "have we met somewhere before?" His eyelids fluttered as he quickly blushed. "I mean—that's not a line or anything—I just…" He shook his head.

She chuckled. "No, I don't believe so. I'm sure I would have remembered. I'm Jessica Sinclair." She gestured with her head to the paintings. "Local artist."

The man nodded without reply, still staring at her face.

Jalena turned back to the paintings. "None of these are for sale..."

Another man, with darker skin and bleach-tipped hair, approached the two from behind. "There you are! What are you doing back here, Kaelon? I want to go watch the game already." The man extended his hand to Jalena. "I'm Sean." As he shook Jalena's hand, he did a double take at Kaelon, who was still staring at Jalena. "Hey, did you hear me? What's the matter with you? I have a date with the big screen."

"I'm Jessica," Jalena said as she released Sean's hand. "The artist. Nice to meet you, Sean," she turned to Kaelon, "and Kaelon."

Kaelon cleared his throat again and blinked several times. "It's pronounced Kay-lawn, actually. Sean says Kay-lun because of laziness."

Jalena smiled. "Kaelon, then," pronouncing it correctly.

Sean shook his head. "It just sounds weird that way, like Kal-El." He laughed. "That's probably why he always ran around pretending to be Superman when we were little. Come to think of it, your name is likely the reason you're as weird as you are." He hit Kaelon on the back and looked around the room. "So, you did this, Jessica—made all the art in the gallery?"

Jalena nodded.

"I was just telling Kaelon how other-worldly this was. Fantasy is right up his alley—always has his head in the stars."

"Then his personality reflects his name," said Jalena.

"Yes," Kaelon said quietly as his eyes continued to study Jalena's face. He stood up straighter. "So, I'll take the entire series." He pointed to the paintings, a glint in his eye. "I just moved to the area and need these in my house."

"They aren't—" Jalena began again.

"It doesn’t matter the cost."

She glanced at the paintings and back to Kaelon, whose intense stare had taken on a stubborn look.

Sean glanced from Kaelon's face and back to Jalena's neutral expression. He rolled his eyes and cleared his throat. "He won't give up until you sell it to him," he said. "He's annoying like that when he sees something he wants."

Jalena gave the pair a small smile. "Very well."

"Good. Now, can we get out of here and go watch the game like normal people, Kay-lawn?" Sean stressed. "If we leave now, you can pick the place." He turned to Jalena. "No offense to fantasy nerds. This is all great…" he slurped his Frappuccino "…just wanna go sit and have a beer." He grinned. "Ya know what I'm sayin'?"

Kaelon sighed. "Come on, then—anything to get you off my back. But if you want me to watch the game with you, then you are going to have to earn it. I want to take the paintings now."

"Aren't you supposed to have these delivered?" Sean said as he helped haul the large portraits minutes later into the back of Kaelon's SUV.

Kaelon shrugged and looked back to Jalena's shop. "Creative Realms," he muttered.

"You just wanted to stretch out the time here because of that hot artist."

"Language, Sean."

"Oh, my bad—exquisite, elegant, intimidating artist."

Kaelon cocked his head and pursed his lips in thought. "Better."

Sean rolled his eyes. "Will you ever get with the times? It's not offensive to say someone's hot."

"It's a surface term that does little to reflect what a person, especially someone like her, really is. The energy behind the term doesn't fit my perception of things. Besides, some things should remain timeless."

"Where do you get this stuff?" asked Sean as he hopped into the car. "I think you study too much quantum philosophy or whatever it is you read."

"Quantum physics."

"Yeah yeah, super nerd. Besides all that, I'm not so sure she is into you. She didn't respond to your googly eyes. Probably scared her away with your nerdiness…"

Jalena watched from her upstairs office window as the two drove away.

"Ready to close up?" Nadia asked as she entered the office. "Everyone is gone."

"Yes."

Nadia walked to the window. "So, how about that one?" she asked as she watched Jalena closely. "Kaelon right?"

Jalena nodded.

"Handsome, isn't he?"

"Yes. There was something certainly different about him. It was an intriguing moment."

"It must have been for you to let go of those paintings so easily."

"It fit somehow."

Nadia studied Jalena as she raised her eyebrows. "So, are you ever going to tell me why I don't see you dating, Jess? I mean, anyone who knows you and has seen you would understand that it is a choice and not because you are unapproachable. I've worked with you for over ten years—almost fifteen I think—and you've hardly aged! Despite that you have the energy of a twenty-year-old, don't you want to settle down?"

"I've had chemistry with people from time to time…" she trailed off, unsure of what to say. Something just didn't feel right about anyone she had met. If she desired to have a partner, she was certain that it would be Shakou, but something didn't seem quite right when she pondered their union in that way either. "It's not about settling down." The term sounded strange to her.

"So, what is it?"

"I just don't feel intimacy in the same way people seem to. And I don't want to cheat someone out of finding true love when I don't really feel the same."

"Do you think it has anything to do with the fact that you can't remember your childhood?"

"I'm not sure."

"But, you don't even socialize much outside of work. Are you depressed?"

"No," Jalena replied with a chuckle, "and I get enough socializing during the day with customers," she raised an eyebrow, "and you. With romantic love, I just haven't found the depth of intimate and expanded connection I want, so I have found it much more fulfilling to collect moments with people instead. I am satisfied by that for now."

Nadia glanced out the window where Kaelon had parked moments before. She nudged Jalena with her elbow. "Like that intriguing moment?"

"Like that one," Jalena affirmed quietly.

"You are so strange," Nadia said with a shake of her head. "If I wasn't married, I would have been chasing that man out of the shop."

"Things transpire in the way they are meant to. No need to force it."

"What about passionate gestures?"

"Those always happen at the right moment too."

"Well. Maybe you'll have more than one of those moments with Kaelon and then your expanded connection will form."

Jalena smiled as she gathered her things. "Maybe."

"Look, I get that you're different than other people, Jess. I know you are a loner, but I just don't want to see you throw away love because of a fear of losing someone or something similar. I believe some people never live because they are afraid of pain."

Jalena froze with her back to Nadia. Her breath caught as a sense of longing overcame her. Losing someone…

"Jess?" Nadia said after several seconds.

Jalena cleared her throat. "I was just thinking that you're right. The risk of losing someone is not a reason to avoid engaging."

Nadia smiled "Well, I don't want to get in the way of you being the loner you love to be, but no one should spend the holidays by themselves. Come have Christmas dinner with me and the boys this Friday. It's just going to be us this year."

"Okay," Jalena said as she followed Nadia downstairs.

"And don't bring anything!" Nadia declared. "No presents!"

"You always get me a present."

"You've already done so much for me. I forbid it."

"Can I bring wine?"

"That, you can always bring."

The two shared a laugh as they made their way to the parking lot.

Jalena and Haku entered her home minutes later, which immediately relaxed Jalena. Like her paintings, unknowingly, the décor reflected much of her life as a warrior.

Over time she had collected different types of swords and statues, which were displayed on the wall and in various corners. A large statue of a black and silver dragon with gemstone scales stood by her front door. Her favorite paintings, reflecting buried Elsarian memories, covered her walls. Glittering LED lights hung from the ceiling and trailed the stems and leaves of plants strategically placed around her entire home, reflecting a glimpse into a world of magic.

She made some tea and watched the snow float down between the trees from her patio glass doors while soothing jazz played in the background. She knew that Nadia believed her to be just a loner, but it went deeper than a reflection of her personality. It was as if an invisible veil separated her from the people around her and even if she wanted to, she couldn't seem to reach them fully. She would observe and interact, ask questions, and laugh with others, but no true commonality sustained the connection. She thought that perhaps she was being unfair by pretending to want more from them, so she minimized her interactions, feeling that her time was better spent immersed in stories or creative activities.

She felt spoiled by Ryu and Shakou's deeper philosophical approach to life. She had not heard from Shakou since he had taken up his travels as the new dragon messenger and she found herself missing his companionship more each day. During her last visit with him, he repeated what Ryu had told Jalena the last time she had seen him—that the reason she was different from humans was because she was a warrior from another dimension. She replied that it was just his biased way of viewing her because she related to him on a deeper level than most humans.

"Okami-chan, I am more than human, as are you," he had replied as he laughed at her. "That is why we understand each other."

She appreciated that she could talk with at least one person about the behaviors of others in a way that drew clarity rather than confusion, which she sometimes felt when she observed the society around her. Most ideologies and values that people held felt foreign to her.

By observing the social interactions of others, she found that people tended to twist events, words, and thoughts into ways that created destructive patterns and brought forth unnecessary drama. She felt their behavior odd—they laughed together only to betray each other at the first opportunity—reflecting a lack of integrity and self-honor rather than unity.

She also observed that many humans had little faith in themselves as if they had been whipped down since birth or buried in mud that was filled with distraction and shallow ponderings. It was another reason she appreciated her solitude. If others sensed her wisdom and asked her for guidance, she would offer it but found few that rarely worked toward lasting change. They were comfortable in their victimhood and toxicity but still held a desire to break free of internalized bondage, failing to understand that this was connected to their sorrow. They seemed…lost, and that unsettled her because it reminded her of her own past being lost to her.

She did not share her truths with anyone outside of Shakou, because she knew that many would not understand. She had given up on others comprehending her point of view years ago and just focused on holding appreciation for shared moments as she had mentioned to Nadia.

Nadia had often teased Jalena about being distant, but anytime Jalena had tried to disclose more of her thoughts, Nadia would just laugh and say, "You're just a deeper thinker than most, Jess."

Although she had gotten used to feeling detached from others, finding the missing pieces of her past was something she secretly longed for. She felt that some of her feelings of separation might have been from the fact that she still couldn't remember her childhood. There were vague images here and there of her running through a forest, but the faces that appeared around her remained a blur.

She had no recollection of her parents, despite hours of searching for a trace. She still did not know how she had the money she did or where she had gotten most of her belongings, like her favorite silver bracelet of blue flowers that had remained around her wrist since her accident in Japan.

Seeing a memory specialist in hopes that she would gain additional insight had not helped either. Other than recommending sticking with her art, there were not many strategies the specialist provided that Jalena had not already tried.

Despite her experience with society, Jalena had her collection of moments she had grown to treasure. She appreciated Nadia's caring nature, but it intrigued her to meet people like Shakou and even Kaelon, even if the interaction was brief, whose energy seemed to uplift the world around them. Those who forget themselves in laughter made her feel less like a foreigner so seeing the smile in someone's eyes that arose from surprise or affection, or authentic interest and excitement take over someone's thoughts when learning something new gave her hope that people could expand into more of what they longed for.

Jalena smiled as she got ready for bed. Images of Kaelon seeped in and out of her thoughts well into the night as she drifted into a restless sleep. Various visions flashed in and out of her consciousness…

In her dream, she was kneeling on a cave floor. She looked up in appreciation at the magical surroundings—the gems embedded in the cave walls reflected the light from the glowing stream before her and the floating spheres of light in the air.

The man with her stood and stretched out his fingers to touch the light. "How blessed we are to have seen such places," he said.

"Indeed," replied Jalena.

He turned to her. "Marry me."

She smiled. " I see that the mineral water has increased your irrationality rather than—"

"No." He smiled. "I've just decided that I'm going to ask you every day until you agree."

The scene faded and another sharpened within Jalena's mind…

She looked down at the same man, who was lying on the floor beneath her. He looked as if he had just woken from a deep sleep.

"Marry me, Jalena," he stated softly. "I love you beyond words—beyond worlds…"

The scene darkened…

Jalena slowly opened her eyes to see Haku's gray ones peering at her closely. The wolf was stretched out on her bed next to her.

She chuckled. "You know…" Jalena said as she scratched Haku between the ears, "Some believe it is rude to stare, Haku. Did you also know that wolves don't usually have light eyes? You are just weird in a multitude of ways."

Jalena chuckled again as Haku stood and gave her a morning lick. For the first time in a long time, she wanted to return to her dreams. She had never felt so connected to someone as she did with the man who appeared in them. His eyes were very intense but also strange in that he had a red ring that bordered the golden brown in his irises.

She sighed as she sat up and scratched Haku again. Kaelon must have triggered a desire for romance. His own green eyes danced in her mind as she and Haku went for their morning run. Jalena shook thoughts of all men away as she increased her speed, laughing as Haku darted through the trees alongside her.